It's About the Journey

     There's a saying....it's about the journey not the destination. I have for the most part always been it's about the destination kind of girl. I'm heading somewhere and I want to get there...NOW. And I like to take the same route EVERY time. I know it, I like it and it feels comfortable. However with another Mother's Day come and gone, I have reflected some.
     I have been a mother 10 years in the making. It didn't just happen over night. It didn't come with instructions or a support number that you can phone at any time. It's work and it's work in progress. I can see the end line, as far away as it is. But it's there. It's a little unclear and flexible but it's there. It's something that I believe that every mom works towards, one day we will urge confident, bright and social aware young adults into the world. There is no set time line for this to occur yet, we work towards it day in and day out.
     I would like for the path to be smooth and well laid out. I would like little help stations along the way, set out at even intervals, so that I am assured that there is always someone standing there when I get tired. I would like for me to be able to follow the same path for all three of my children. I would like for it to always be sunny and warm and safe.
     But if you are a parent, you know this to not be the case. The road is sometimes rough and scary. Sometimes there is no one standing there with the answers or the support that you need. Sometimes there appears to be no path at all. And well we all know that no two children are the same so forget forcing them all down the same path. In short, it's not always easy and what works for one may not for another.
     I know that I haven't always been perfect in my parenting. I some times play the music a little loud, just because they asked me to. I some times let them watch tv shows that some parents might find questionable (haunted houses and such), there's lots of talk of magic and unicorns and fairies in my house. I some times nod when I'm not really listening to their every word and answer with some thing that has nothing to do with what they are saying.
     But I have over time learned that children are resilient. They are forgiving and they love you always above anything else. For all my faults, some good has come. Music some times make my children randomly dance, just because it's playing and they like it. For my errors in letting them watch 'scary' shows, they know the difference between real and pretend and aren't scared of things that aren't really there. And for all the talk about imaginary creatures or illusions, my children are full of hope, have a great sense of awe and can play pretend with the best of them.
     There are things that I would if I could ask for a do over. Like when Chasey was diagnosed with diabetes or when Tristan feel off his bike and took a good knock to the noodle (helmet on of course). Or when really good things happened so that I could relive that feeling of utter joy. Like this weekend when Tristan learned to tie his shoes, or the day that Morgan brought home her first A on a test.
     However knowing that do overs are impossible, I am still at peace. I know that the journey is long, and if today isn't going well, there is probably something different just around the next corner. And I have learned that even though life doesn't come built in with support people, you can surround yourself with whom ever you choose and I must say I have chosen some pretty fantastic people. I will continue to be less then perfect and that is alright. I will continue to play the music a little loud and watch ghostly television with my little people. Because at the end of the day I love my kids and they love me.
     For once this destination kind of girl is enjoying the journey. Unknown path and all.