Finding One's Voice

     Awe. Admiration. Pride. Conviction. These are all things that I feel about my children for the most part. They are these little people full of personality and spirit.
     For those of you that do not know Chasey is type 1 diabetic and this year for the first time our family (along with another family that we totally adore), will be taking part in the Telus and JDRF walk to find a cure for diabetes. It's a wonderful event that will consist of prizes, food, family and friends. On Sunday June 12th we will 4km to help raise awareness and funds.
     As part of this venture we are fundraising, and fundraising and fundraising some more. It's a grueling and intimidating process that consists of asking people over and over again to support you with a donation. Don't get me wrong I totally believe in the cause and I think it's more then a worth while charity to give to but sometimes it's hard to ask people knowing that they are probably asked to support dozens of other things.
     Chasey enters stage left. Chasey is completely fearless. I am also convinced that she has no concept of the fact that people might actually say no to her. She believes with her whole heart, ask and thy shall receive. And ask she does. She just marches right up to people, hands them the donation sheet and presents her case. She smiles and she tilts her head to the side, looking all innocent and serious. She tells them all the important facts and then she pretty much tells them their options, either you can give me a donation or you can join my team to walk with us on that day. And then she stands there. Still, quiet and completely confident in herself. Low and behold she walks away with a donation. The smile that comes every time, is huge and wide and bright. It's like the heavens open up and you hear AHHHHHHH every time she is successful in her quest.
     Today was an especially grand day for her. She managed two donations back to back. She was so proud. Proud enough that high fives and fist pumps were included.
     In the beginning, when we first started fundraising, I explained to the kids what it was and why we did it. I thought it might be a little complicated for Chasey. I mean the thought of collecting a bunch of money for doing some walking and then giving it away to someone else to find a cure is a little abstract. The first pitch or two she did was rough. It was almost painful. At one point she told the person that she was going to use the money to cure both diabetes and cancer (because it was important to her to make cancer go away too). But over time she worked it out. Some thing clicked in her head and it became as right as rain. Then she went on to tell Morgan and Tristan what they had to do to help. Now all three of them are able to talk to people about Chasey and her diabetes and the need to find a cure.
     This is where the awe comes in. I look at these three little people. They are full of hope, trust and determination. They stand one beside the other and tell a story of need and desire. They fill in the blanks and finish one another's sentences. They have taken something that took us by surprise (a type 1 diagnosis) and turned it into a teachable moment. In the end they walk away from people, having taught them something new and bringing the chances of a cure a little closer.
     I have tried since Chasey became diabetic to give her words to deal with it, to help her explain to other's when they ask questions or make comments. I have searched for answers to give her that will make it a little easier and more bearable. Most of the time I think I am just out there flapping in the wind. Telling her things, that I am not even sure I believe (like there will be a cure in her life time). But on occasion someone must be smiling down on me. Something I say sticks. Something I say make sense. Something I say provides a little comfort.
     As much as I hate what diabetes is and the power that it can on a bad day weld on our family. It has helped my children unite. It has helped them find a cause worth fighting for. I believe with all of my heart that one day Chasey will be a great advocate. She doesn't ask she tells. With her brother and sister standing there as her support nothing can stop them. They have found their voice. And I couldn't be prouder.