I've had this nagging feeling....kind of in the pit of my stomach. I don't think it was an exact occurrence or person that triggered it but it's there. Just kind of chewing away at me. Well that might not be entirely true.
Last night was not a good diabetes night. It down right SUCKED. We had a 30.1, 31.7, 28.4 and then a whole range of numbers in the high teens. It was a sleepless and restless night with ample finger pokes and loud protests from the cranky 6 year old.
It wasn't the worst night by far but it's not one that I would like to repeat any time soon. Now this might be sleep depravation talking but diabetes sucks. SUCKS. Let's all say it together one more time, SUCKS. I'm a strong believer in you only get what you can handle. And yes I know there are loads of people out there with a lot more on their plate then me. And I feel for them. I really, REALLY do.
But this is where that nagging feeling comes in. I hate, and I mean hate it when people say to me it could be worst. You could be facing cancer or something like that. Granted we could, but we're not. And don't get me wrong, cancer is horrible, scary and unfair. And so it liver disease and strokes and heart failure and kidney disease and and and. You get the picture. But for us this is the reality. Most of the time when people are uttering these words to me, they are well meaning and caring people. But they just don't have a clue about our life, our whole life. Perhaps for us, this was all we could handle. Maybe for us this was devastating and puts enough strain on us. Maybe, just maybe this is our cancer.
Yes it's just diabetes and yes there are I'm sure, a lot worst things out there that could have invaded our family. But for now, for today anyways...being terribly sleepy, a tad cranky and still facing not great numbers. This is enough.
wow, my thoughts exactly. I too had sleepless nights filled with high numbers for the past 2 nights. with some slightly high numbers and a really bad low in the daytime yesterday with a 17.7 at lunch today. yes, it isn't cancer or some other sucky thing, but it is diabetes and it really really really sucks. a lot. and the sleep deprivation is killing me along with the stress of trying to control something that seems to be only partly within my control:P
ReplyDeleteListen ladies... just tell the now it alls that until the walk a mile in your shoes they do not need to comment, or insinuate. Especially on things they know nothing about!
ReplyDeleteWow, did you hear my conversation yesterday? Because you said what I was saying. Great blog Jen.
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